This post would fall under the emotional health category, which I feel is directly linked to financial health.
She’s looking at everyone except me. She’s not making eye contact. Why is she smiling at everyone else? Did I do something to piss her off?
I had arrived at a women’s event where I didn’t know many people. I consider myself to be friendly, warm, kind and likeable. As Brene Brown puts it: I’m really good at fitting in. I went around introducing myself, chatting, making small talk and then I met Her.
When I shook hands with Her, there was a vibe that was a little off. Whatever, not a big deal. But, from that point it went downhill. She seemed to be deeply interested in what others had to say, but when I would say something her gaze seemed to wander off.
Am I imagining this? Yes. No…I certainly am not. She hates me. I can tell.
Is it my clothes? Does she not like Asians? Is it my breath? Is it me?
I’ve been in more situations like this than I’d like to admit. Times when I meet someone and not only don’t feel a connection, but feel a bit repelled. When this happens to my friend, she brushes it off and believes it’s their loss.
When this kind of thing happens to me I internalize it. I want everyone to like me, so if someone doesn’t it throws me off. Instead of enjoying all the other people in the room I get along with, I hone in on this one person. All my energy zooms in on why this is happening. My night is ruined. I go home and vent all my anger, frustration and sadness to my husband.
If I see the person again, the trauma is relived and I feel awful allover again.
After a while, I started to feel like I couldn’t live like this. It’s too draining and exhausting.
Now when I go somewhere, my intent is not to get people to like me. My intent is to give kindness and love.
I’ve come to understand there will be some people who for whatever reason don’t like me and that’s okay. I don’t like everyone I meet and I can’t expect everyone else to either. But, instead of focusing energy on these people, I’d rather focus more of my energy on those who love and care for me.
They’re much cooler anyway :).
How do you deal when you meet someone whom you don’t connect with?